iniadmin “I have always enjoyed dancing and performing, and I will be the first to admit, i was never the best. I am pretty sure I was banned from front row center position (the position of the most talented in class) from dance class when I screwed up in the big recital when I was 7 or 8. From then on, I was always positioned on the ends. When my grades started to suffer in middle school, I stopped taking dance class. I regret it. I danced with a pair of fabulous friends in high school talent shows. They were both more talented than me. I struggled to keep up. The three of us grew to be close friends. 12 years out of high school, they’re two of the few I see from back then. When I was 21, I tried stand-up comedy on an amateur night, no one laughed. Last year I decided to perform burlesque at Nudie Nubies – an Amateur Reveal in St Paul for the first time. I hadn’t danced on stage since I was 16. I was scared to the point that the night I performed, my friends literally thought I was on drugs. I fell twice and forgot nearly all the steps. I still have not brought myself to watch the videos of my performance from that night. By some miracle (lots of very supportive friends) I made it to the top three. My friends will tell you, I got the most applause, which would determine the winner. The judge picked one of the other two girls to win, most likely for their skill and polish, both of which I lacked. This winter I had been taking pole classes at Phoenix Flight Studio Pole Dance and Fitness Studio. The first night of class I bore the most skin, fat, and inexperience. I cried when I couldn’t do a pole climb, so I made it my goal to do so. Three weeks later, I did it. In December, I signed up for the student showcase. When I signed up, I hadn’t done a pole climb yet, and more scared than when I signed up for Nudie Nubies. When I signed up for that show, I had no idea what I was up against; at Phoenix Flight Studio, I had seen the other talent, and I was more nervous. Weeks later, I went to Saturday morning floor class. I had no idea it was a part of a series. I struggled to keep up, but at least I tried….well, for about 20 minutes. The night before the show, I attended dress rehearsal. I got through most of my routine and was on the verge of a panic attack at the end of the song. I stopped, head down, breathing heavily. Everyone was encouraging and rooted me on, but I was feeling busted. I went on to watch everyone else blow my mind with their skills and their routine, and I felt inadequate. The next night, I performed. I got though it. I made it. I climbed the pole, I did a pole sit. I made people laugh with my googly eyes on my boobs! I felt proud that I even did it. My spouse and my friends were proud of me. Phoenix Flight Studio has helped me grow in performing. Knockout has helped me grow as a person. I’ve been missing out on classes since the showcase. New job and different priorities come and go. I will return to classes soon. I will rise. and I will win!”
